Smarter kids more likely to have drinking problems

Researchers and parents all over the world were shocked and appalled after studies showed that contrary to expectations, the smarter your kids are, the more likely they are to have drinking problems later in life.

After regaining their composure, the investigators from the University of Glasgow in Scotland called for further examination of this apparent phenomenon, “given that these findings ran counter to our expectations.”

Now I don’t know whether that’s the way independent studies roll, but surely you can’t demand a do-over just because you don’t like the outcome of something. I don’t like the way my thighs look right now, but that doesn’t mean I get to demand a do-over…! (although I would if I could!)

But back to the study…. These public health experts assessed the childhood mental ability scores of over 8,000 men and women in their 30s. This is when they found that the higher the IQ, the higher the likelihood of developing a drinking problem. The correlation existed even after factoring out socio-economic status, and was stronger in women than it was in men.

So maybe this should be a lesson for parents who can’t stop bragging about how smart their kids are (as opposed to those who just sit silently and pray that their kids don’t end up as a cross-dressing crack addict in juvie before the age of 15).

Your darling probably isn’t going to become a lawyer. But he might end up drinking like one…

Note: This study explains a lot about my binge drinking escapades when I was younger. Smart girl + too much partying = some pretty bad choices. However, this also sums up just about every kid in every college and university in the world!

Luckily I’ve ’sowed my wild oats’ and settled down to more worthwhile exploits like online Bingo. I don’t have the grey hair or wrinkles (well, not many) that most people think of when they think Bingo.  Now – a – days online is far more ‘hip’, but at least I’ve calmed down to a mild- ‘er’ type!

Drinkers are losing their minds (and other fun facts)

I always jokingly say that I drank myself stupid in my younger years, which is why I now forget people’s names / wouldn’t dream of studying further / can’t understand how the hell Sudoku works.

But it turns out that it’s true. I mean, I always suspected that drinking too much makes you stupid (and not just ACT stupid). But I didn’t need to have it thrown in my face like this…

Scientists in Washington have proven that the more you drink, the more your brain shrinks. And what upsets me more, is the fact that once again, this is more pronounced in women than in men.

Ok, so nobody forced me to down my body weight in whiskey/tequila/cheap wine/shooters until my late 20’s. But it still sucks that my brain has shrunk more than all my virtually-alcoholic ex-boyfriends.

Or does it? Researchers say that overall, brain volume declines with age at an estimated rate of about 2% per decade. And those who drink more than 14 drinks per week have a brain that is on average 1% smaller.

So we’re not talking about losing our fine motor skills overnight. And since I used to enjoy at least 14 drinks PER NIGHT, that’s a relief.

I can’t live without a good red wine when I’m feeling indulgent, a cheap red wine when I’m broke and feel like getting pissed, a celebratory tequila with my girl friends, or a frozen margarita on a hot day.

But I CAN live without an extra 1% brain volume per decade. Who really needs to understand how bloody Sudoku works, anyway?